we're chasing vodka with high fives
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
