I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
