Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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