bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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