Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I smell like Dick and happiness
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
