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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I need to align my fucking chakras
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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