she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
