I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
