Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
