so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
