would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
