If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
