Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
