Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
