you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
