physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
