I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
