Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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