I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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