matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize