I want you more than these girls want KFC
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
