farters have to be the big spoon...
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
