No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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