This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
