I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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