i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
