my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Randomize
