Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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