So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
