i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
