U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
