I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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