Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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