It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Couch. On fire.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
