I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize