Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
