So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
