He is an equal opportunity slut.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
