i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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