dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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