Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
