i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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