I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
