If i could tip my vagina, i would.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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