shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
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