im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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