the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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