if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
