I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize