Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
