Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
