someone owes me an orgasm
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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