I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize