Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You just made me feel so damn special
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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