you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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