Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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