Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
