Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
