I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
