I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
