So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
