Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
