Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
