Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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