Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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