If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize