You're completely useless in the revolution.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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