i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
