That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
