i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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