Where are you?
In a non slutty way
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
