oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
he was CRYING into my vagina
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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